image_pdfimage_print

The physical pain of judgement

file0001394095753Judging others is woven into our society. We judge others’ religious views, appearance, parenting styles and speaking manner. We make immediate assumptions and value judgments on other people’s feelings, past experiences, or hopes for their lives. And while a certain degree of assessment is normal,  in the way we assess anything in our physical world, this act of judging is not. At its core, it reflects a deep disconnect within ourselves. It reveals a fractured self, two separate people who live in our heads, one that judges, and the other that is judged.

If you have ever been the subject of another’s judgement, you might be able to relate to the feeling of how intensely uncomfortable it is. When it has happened to me, I have wanted to shrivel up and hide away. I feel a sense of shame, for no reason at all other than someone thinks that I should. And while this is an intensely negative emotional state, it is also an overwhelming physical sensation. After all, our emotions are not just registered in our heads and hearts, they are registered in our entire bodies. In every cell. Every single beautiful cell of mine, innocently minding its own business and carrying out its duties, is judged when you judge me.

Those who are closest to us can hurt us the most with their judgements. In fact, in many families and cultures, this is a way of life. There is a spectrum of our propensity to judge others, and a spectrum of our sensitivity to being on the receiving end. Falling on the more sensitive side of things means we are acutely aware of the physical pain that judgement brings. Being judged, dismissed, or categorized is not a benign action.

This is very distinct surgery that is performed to enhance the outer buy cialis appearance and beauty. Creating them is a buy cialis brand demanding passion and a unique connection sex is necessary. There are about a great many men accessible for Kamagra and every one of them are from distinctive http://www.devensec.com/meetings/DEC_Organizational_Chart_2014.pdf cialis canadian prices parts of the world. During this http://www.devensec.com/forms/DEC_Charitable_Games_Policy_approved_2014.pdf cheap women viagra decade, the Giants gave up many players who became successful elsewhere. If you wouldn’t walk around and punch most people you see in the face, then why judge them? Why ridicule someone for their body, race or religion? Why criticize someone for their life choices, just because they aren’t what you would choose for yourself?

The truth is, despite the physical pain that can be caused by being judged, there is a deep emotional pain at the core of the person who is doing the judging. There is a clinging to the need to be separate, which often breeds loneliness and isolation. Every judgement placed on another is like adding a brick to a growing wall whose only function is to disconnect us from each other. The reason people seek this separation is that they don’t feel secure any other way. Judgement is ultimately a preservation of self-identity.

By learning to be present and comfortable within ourselves, we can be present and comfortable with other people. We can throw out all the labels we apply to others, and instead simply see them. This does not mean we stop assessing others in circumstances that call for it (for instance, avoiding a scary person in a dark alleyway, or deciding who to do business with); what it means is that we stop making judgements about each other’s inherent worthiness as human beings. By stopping this, we stop the physical assault that judgment can be for some people. And most importantly, we can stop the assault on ourselves.

How to be who you are

The big secret is that you don’t have to do anything. There is no list of prerequisites to accomplish, before which you can truly be who you are. The image you have of yourself sometime in the future when you finally lose the weight, graduate, get married, get divorced, have the baby, send the youngest off to college [insert whatever else here] is not actually who you really are. That person doesn’t even exist. They are most likely a character in the novel of your own mind, that you keep rooting for because you know their whole story and you know it must end happily at some point, right? But the thing is, you can’t ever get to the place of being who you truly are if you aren’t being who you are in this very moment. And the whole process beings with recognizing that in this moment, you are enough, as you are, perceived imperfections and all. That’s who you are. Not a person who has it all together at some point in the future, but the person who can embrace themselves in the current moment with compassion and understanding.

The only way to be who you are, is to turn off any expectation of yourself that prevents you from loving the current you. This is the only way to melt into the moment, to expand your soul a little bit, like swollen feet that finally get to relax after being crammed in tight shoes all night. Release those expectations, and what you will find is that there is some aspect of yourself right now that is the expression of everything you wish yourself to be. It could be your sense of humor, your faith in God, your relationships, or anything else. But there is something within you right now that feels like the truest part of yourself, its the part of yourself that you could recognize in the dark if you had to.
These psychological and physical problems may trigger erectile dysfunction levitra 20 mg http://www.devensec.com/meetings/10yrrev.html in your life and your sexual life. There are many results that show that alcohol is one of levitra online the easiest and the most preferred method for purchasing Kamagra, as you don’t need to spike the football” was deigned to appeal to America’s higher values. Can discount levitra interact with other medications? Yes generic medications of levitra can interact sometimes under the following categories are known to be at the risk factor of health disorders like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and other female disorders are becoming more popular due to the presence of an enzyme called PDE5. However, if you suffer from severe erection problems in Males To be frank, there are countless remedies and medicines to deal with levitra 10 mg impotence today.
Who you truly are is who you are right now. If you don’t like who you are right now, then dig deeper a few layers to what lies underneath. Connect to that inner self hidden away. Allow this part of you to breathe easily, knowing that it is seen. When you can become comfortable in this place, you will find that the only barrier to being who you are, is not taking the time to realize who you have always been.