Category: Coaching

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Finding your dream

file0001684040893As adults, most of us have stopped dreaming. We don’t imagine the wildest scenarios that we could find ourselves in tomorrow, next week, next year, because we know we are supposed to be more practical than that. We become burdened by the responsibility of adult life, of paying the bills, securing insurance, and making sure a roof is over our heads and food on the table.

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Some of us have a stronger need for this type of adult security than others, but we all have that inner dreamer hidden within. The dreamer that thinks of the best possible scenario, whether its falling in love again after a divorce, moving to a new city with exciting job opportunities, or growing the family with another child. Our dreams change as we age, as we evolve as people. But for so many of us, the dreams begin to lose their vibrancy and texture once we enter adulthood. It’s almost seen as silly to have a dream as an adult, as if somehow by not currently living the “dream”, we have failed. We begin to domesticate our wildest dreams, to house train them so that they can fit into what life currently represents for us.  But having a dream as adults is so important for our overall health and well-being. Having a dream means that we are connected to some deeper part of ourselves that knows our full potential. And the more urgency we feel to live out that dream, the more we know the current situation has been limiting us for far too long.

Finding your dream is both hard and easy, depending on how you look at it. The easy part is that your dream is already within you, waiting to be explored. The hard part is that often we are unconscious to the dream, and we need to interpret Life’s signs and symbols to help make it a reality. The latter requires immense faith in ourselves, faith that we can know something so intangible about what others would call mere coincidence. But to those of us who are in touch with the dreamer side of our personality, we know there is no such thing as coincidence. We know that a dream is on the horizon, and we just have to follow the signs to find it.

Start to pay attention to the little signs that Life directs your way. When you sense you need to follow in a certain direction, allow the dreamer in you to take charge. Allow yourself to dream as big as you possibly can, to look to the future with anticipation and glee that it will be more amazing than you could even possibly realize now. Finding your dream begins with the permission to dream big. There is nothing holding you back, there is no one else you need to please, just dream big and take one step closer to the life you have always wished to live.

Following your dreams doesn’t mean it will always be easy. But the darkest night of your soul when following your dreams, will be nothing compared to the darkest night in a life you weren’t meant to live.

Your Vision

Creating a vision is an important coaching tool that helps each client connect with their innermost values and desires, and links it to their motivation to make the vision a reality. Some may find this exercise easy, while others will struggle with visualizing clearly what it is they want most for themselves. It requires a shift in thinking. The center of the vision is ultimately you, after all, and no body else. Not your family, friends or significant others. This vision is all about what you want in life, and this can be a hard shift to make for those who have spent much of their lives focused on the people around them.

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A clear vision is so important to create because it actually begins to train our brain and nervous systems. We all have well worn paths of thought we tread down again and again. This is no coincidence – this is merely how the brain works. The more we think and do things, the easier it becomes to think and do those same things again. By creating a detailed vision that reflects what we want most in life, we are allowing our nervous system to lay down new tracks that we can hopefully reinforce with further thought and action. The more we focus on this vision, the better chance we have of bringing it into reality.

Understanding some of the neuroscience behind habit change is important, because we find that ultimately creating good habits that lead us to our ultimate vision is not just a matter of willpower. We can actually set ourselves up for success. We can begin making progress, even if it seems slow to us in the moment, towards a larger vision that has the power to transform our lives. We begin to see that we have always been moving forward, but without a clear vision, we weren’t going in the direction we wanted. Choosing where you want to be in life is something only you can do. No one else can choose for you. Therefore, its best to create a vision that reflects your wildest dreams and impossible hopes, because truly, within a vision, nothing is impossible.